I have been throwing ideas down on paper …. and then throwing them in the bin and starting over again!
I have been on a real roller-coaster …. from “I’m really excited and can’t wait to get started” …. to “I must be mad. What on earth am I thinking of putting on an exhibition?”
Back and forth consumed by self-doubt.
Will it be good enough?
What will people think?
Will anybody care?
Will anybody visit it?
… to the point at times of making myself feel physically sick, if I am being totally honest.
Why am I bothered about what other people think?
I suppose it’s because I really care passionately about my photography. Every time I take a photograph I think it’s the best image that I have ever taken.
That said, I always think I can do better next time… the contacts page of my website pretty much sums that up… A quote by Imogen Cunningham “Which of the photographs is my favourite? The one I’m going to take tomorrow.”
And I’m sure it will be – so that’s why tomorrow I make a proper start on the project. I am speaking to and photographing the first 4 of my Distant Voices – Eileen, Marjorie, Mollie and Frank.
I keep coming back to a quote by Aristotle of all people….
“There is only one way to avoid criticism:
and Be nothing”
It is going to be a real challenge – the Photography side of the Exhibition will be challenging enough – but it is also supported by audio.
Initially the library said I couldn’t use sound, but they have now had a change of heart – so excerpts of the voices of the people I am photographing are going to be playing in the background….. re-enforcing the “Distant Voices” theme.
Needless to say I have been on a very steep learning curve editing sound since they agreed!
Better stop writing now before I start all that self-doubt thing again…… !